Monday, April 13, 2009

Friend Makin' Monday

It's Monday, so that means it is time for Friend Makin' Monday! A fun way to meet other bloggers out there. Check out Kasey's blog for the rules. Today, Kasey asked us to share the best advice we have received.

I am sure if I sat and thought about all of the advice I have received over the years, I could come up with many. But the first one that came to mind is from someone I used to work with. When I was about to get married back in 1999 (so long ago!), my colleague Linda told me this: When I am married and have kids, make it a point to have a date night with Jason AT LEAST once a month, or more. AND, we could not talk about the kids. At the time, not having kids, I thought that seemed like an easy task. Boy was I wrong when we did have kids!

I was almost 24 when I got married, which seems so young now that I look back. Jason was 26. We had Samantha after being married for 3 1/2 years. After she came along, I was able to see and understand what Linda meant. It is so easy to have our children be the center of our life, which is fine and expected, but we have a marriage that is like a garden. It needs to be watered, fertilized, and weeded. It cannot be ignored or it will slowly die and the weeds will overtake the garden. When Julie lived in TX, we had it set on the calendar with her and my mother-in-law to watch each other's kids. Julie had my kids the first weekend of each month (we could pick Fri or Sat), she had my kids the 3rd weekend of every month, and my mother-in-law had all of our kids the last weekend of the month. AND, we had the kids overnight. So we were guaranteed 2 date nights a month. It was great! Some nights we went out with friends, some we made elaborate plans for just us, sometimes it was just dinner and then back home. Since we had so many nights to just us, we got creative and came up with all kinds of things we never did. Once we played Bingo. Even though I walked out smelling like I smoked cigarettes all night (I don't smoke, those places are so smoky!), I came out winning $750! Not kidding, I won that much on my first try. Movies, bowling, sports bars to play trivia, coffee houses...we tried all kinds of things. It was great and got us to reconnect as a couple.

Now that Julie doesn't live in TX, we have had to really make it a point to go out. Luckily, all of our parents live within a 1 hr radius from us, so we have them to watch our kids or a few set dear friends that we trust. If you don't have family near you, reach out to find a good trusted babysitter to pay. I know, that cuts into budgets, but for the sake of your marriage, it is worth it! Add it to the family budget. You and your husband will thank me for it!

On another note, I will try to post pictures from our great weekend at my mom's for Easter. I was sick the entire time with horrible sinus headaches and allergies. I even missed church! That is how horrible I felt, missing church on Easter Sunday of all days! Check back tomorrow for that post.


Rhonda said...

Hey Alli,
It's nice to meet you. Date nights...yes great advice. My sister and I trade babysitting for date nights. Now our church offers FNO (Friday Night Out) each Friday of the week! It is awesome. Have a great Monday!

Becca @ The Texas Darlings said...

Wowie! Look at your new jazzed up blog- it looks great!

Love your advice, unfortunately, my hubby & i do not take the time to regularly have a date nite. When we do, we always realize how much fun we had and how we need to do this more often, but life just seems to get in the way!!!!

I hope you feel better soon!!!

Have a great week!

Xazmin said...

This is something Hubby and I have such a hard time finding time for! He works evenings, and in the day there's school and little ones. But it is definitely something we are trying to figure out!

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

Found your blog over at Kasey's and am reading the great advice that everyone has been given. This one is great and one that you can use even after you are an empty nester. Now I bet you might be thinking that would be easy as the kids are gone, but even more important later!

Tanielle said...

My hubby and I really need to do this! It's so hard, and shouldn't be! We sooo need the time for ourselves, and the time to get away without little people!

Thanks! Have a great day!


Kelli said...

I like that advice. My hubby and I try and get out every now and then but not enough. We also just enjoy having a meal at home and catching up on TV!

jennykate77 said...

Great advice! It's hard to make the time, but well worth it!

Hope you have a great Monday!!

Vivienne said...

We do date night too. It is so important. It is easier for us now that our kids are older. (My oldest is almost 17).

When they were little and we didn't have a sitter, we would get them all in bed and we'd have fruit and cheese and wine by candlelight and play cards or board games, just us. (Yes we're dorks, but dork time is still "us time...)

Angie S said...

Love your new look girl!! It is cute :) And yes, Gary and I need a date night for sure! We are looking for sitters in our area...when we find one we should all go to dinner! Happy Monday!

"FINE"al thoughts... said...

Happy to meet you, Alli. What great advice. I am embarrased to admit that 10 years and five kids later my hubby and I do not do this but I know we should! You are right. Putting it in the budget would be a great idea!

Christie in Dallas, TX said...

Great advice, Alli! Chris and I only have one child, but we still try to find time for grown-up-night-out so we can just enjoy being together. For a while we had a sitter come for an hour on Thursdays, and Chris and I would go run (or grab a margarita if we didn't feel like running...). Great "together" time.

jenjen said...

Hi Alli!

Sorry I am so late today! That is really good advice. We try to have a date night once a week, but it's very hard. It seems like things always come up. It is so important though - I agree!

Have a super night!


Jodi said...

I wish we could do that more!!! We need some freebie babysitters... hopefully soon we'll live near the grandparents!!

LOVE the new blog look!